Wednesday, December 31, 2008

15 Lessons

To say I don’t much like New Year’s Eve would be a gross understatement.

I’m not really sure why…

Maybe it’s that I’m so sentimental and have a hard time letting go. And the harder I grasp at those last fleeting moments of the year, the faster they slip away. Like the way a mother grips her toddler’s finger to hold him close, yet eventually she has to release him as she can’t hold on forever.

Maybe it’s the security of knowing. And while the New Year holds loads of promise, it is also unknown territory.

Maybe it’s that “packing for camp” feeling that I got every dang time I left home…homesick even before I left…for a destination I was excited about.

Maybe it’s that I hold the old year in my arms like it is old friend or relative…not wanting it to leave. Because even with all of its faults, it is the good that I always focus on.

I am tonight, as I am every single year, melancholy once again as that darn ball gets ready to drop.

2008 was an interesting year. It held some huge blessings and some monumental disappointments. And with the good and the bad came a multitude of life lessons:

1. Sometimes my very best is total and 100% stink. (This will be a future blog topic all on its own!).

2. I’m too old to care what people think. I never want to be inappropriate or offensive, but with me what you see is what you get, and if you don’t like me it is really OK.

3. Humility is a wonderful lesson to learn. It is an amazing thing to realize that you are as insignificant as a grain of sand, and yet that you have a purpose in this life that no one can carry out but you.

4. A contrarian am I. I always have been and always will be.

5. That crazy God! …He’s still got plenty of tricks up his sleeve on my behalf. (And on your behalf, too!)

6. No matter what I do for others it is never enough. But I don’t mean that in an “I-can’t-ever-do-enough-poor-me” kind of way. I mean it in a “let’s-see-if-I-can-out-do-myself-cause-what-I’ve-already-done-was-a-great-attempt-but-let’s-ramp-it-up” kind of way.

7. Listen to the gut!

8. It is really important that you sink in! Changing churches & becoming part of Grace was the best thing I have done for my personal spiritual growth in a long, long time. (No “thanks” can ever express it, Lisa!) We actually started going in ‘07, but we didn’t “sink in” till ’08, & the sinking in is where it's at!

9. It is more important than ever to make time for the people in your life. But it is also OK to let go of some people, too.

10. I really love having and writing a blog! I have a lot to say…and it is very possible that it is stuff that no one actually wants to hear. But if it helps one person fall into deeper relationship with Christ, or gives one person the opportunity to read quietly at midnight because she is too scared to ask aloud, the purpose has been served.

11. I’ve squelched my creativity for a few years…because I was busy…but I have to realize that the creativity and other talents that I have were specifically given to me for a reason, and I have to use them in order for them to be increased. This is non-negotiable & I have seen proof of this over and over in my life this year. This is true for all of us, so if this resonates with you, take heed.

12. Not only must I use the gifts I have been given, but I am required to use them at the place where I already am if I want them to grow.

13. I seek and appreciate truth more than I ever have before.

14. Slow & steady wins the race and you must build on fertile ground.

15. If you ask for truth, understanding, and wisdom, pursuing God relentlessly, He will reveal it to you. But in His time and through His ways.

In about ten minutes it will be 2009. I will probably feel like crying as that old friend, 2008, slips out the door and it softly closes behind him. Instead of crying, I will try to focus on the gratitude I feel for baseball games, for family gatherings, for my church and my spot on the risers in the choir, for new friends & old, for birthday parties, and for leopard print shoes.

I will focus on gratitude for a God who continually delights and challenges me, who never gives up on me ~ or you ~ and is always waiting on us to want Him by our side. A God who made us to be like Him, knowing that we never can be, but is so very proud of us for trying.

May you be richly blessed in 2009, and may it teach you a multitude of wonderful lessons as it settles in to become your new and dear friend.

Question: What did 2008 teach you?

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Got Joy?

Got joy?

I do!

…Way down deep!

It overpowers everything, every other emotion that I have.

And because of it I have to use a lot of wrinkle crème! I have the potential for lots and lots of laugh lines and crows feet...because I smile constantly!

Do you remember this old Bible School song:
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where?
Down in my heart to stay.

That’s why I smile all of the time!

Joy is my over-riding emotion… In fact, it overflows and I like it that way. It’s a good place to dwell, and I can’t keep from smiling! Sometimes my face actually hurts from smiling so much! My joy wells up, bubbles over, oozes out.

And I’ve been this way for quite a while, though I just really realized it not too long ago.

I’ve realized that I have joy when I am happy, joy when I am glad, joy when I am excited.

You may be saying, “Big whoop, lady! I don’t get the big deal, aren’t you supposed to be joyful when you are happy?”

Well, you’d be surprised!

I’ve known a lot of people who were happy about a particular circumstance, but deep down they were depressed, or angry, or disillusioned, or had a chip on their shoulder. I’ve known a lot of people who were all kinds of positive emotions, but those emotions were tied to a particular person or event in their life, and when things weren’t going well with the person, or when the event or circumstance came to an end, the bitterness welled up and overflowed.

See, I am also filled with joy, joyfulness, joy overflowing when I am upset, irritated, exhausted, sad, mourning, confused, and just down-right ticked-off.

And because of JOY, even when I feel those negative things, they don’t last long and they don’t run nearly as deep as they would otherwise ~ I’m just sure of it!

From where does my joy come? My joy comes from the Lord. (My take on Psalm 121:1…it actually says “help”, but I really like how it reads with the word joy subbed in!)

I guess I really realized all of this a few months ago after something kind of big didn’t go my way and I was pretty down about it, yet at the same time I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. In that moment it dawned on me: that is what the old Bible School song is about. It’s one of those simple little childhood melodies that we sing without thinking about the true and deeper meaning.

But HOW, you may be wondering, just exactly does one acquire this joy of which I speak?

Three ways, I believe:
1.) Continually praising, even through the crud.
This very well may involve asking God for help, and I am quite sure that it will certainly involve practice. You to have practice becoming your own best spin-doctor. When things are cruddy, convince yourself of any aspect of good, because it is there if you look hard enough. Someone in a seminar once taught me to “change the story”, meaning instead of cussing that horrid driver that just cut you off, you say “oh, that poor man, I hope he gets to the hospital in time…as fast as he is driving, his wife is obviously in labor!”
Well, the more you “change the story”, the more you start to automatically think like that, and the more you practice praising God, the more that will be your natural reaction, your natural way of thinking and praying, thus your natural state of being will become positive and joyful. Try it. For the next 30 days. I triple-dog dare ya! What’s that worst thing that could happen? It may just change your life!
Romans 5: 1-3
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance."

2.) Being obedient.
God tells us to be joyful in Him, to delight in Him, to bask in the goodness and glory and hope of Him.
If we are really believing, really studying His word, seeking His truth, and living by faith, our joy can not help but grow. Nothing can compare to the home that awaits us in Heaven!
God commands us:
Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
So if we are following His commands, we are at least making our very best attempt to do just that; delight ourselves in Him.

3.) Accepting His gift.
Jesus was born so that we may know this joy. That’s the only way we can get it, but all of us can have it. All of us. There is plenty to go around. Regardless of past mistakes, previous blunders, mishaps big or small. Regardless of age, race, background, which side of the tracks you grew up on… None of that “stuff” matters. You are forgiven.
All you have to do is take the gift, accept the gift, open your heart to the gift that God has given you in the miracle of this baby, yet king, sent to save the world and to fill it with joy!

From a great old Christmas hymn:
Good Christian men rejoice
With heart and soul and voice
Now ye hear of endless bliss
Joy! Joy! Jesus Christ was born for this
He has opened heaven's door
And man is blessed forevermore
Christ was born for this
Christ was born for this…

Christ was born to save
Christ was born to save

My Christmas wish for you: May you know the true JOY of a deep and abiding relationship with Jesus, down in your heart to stay!

Question: Have you "Got Joy"? If not, what will you do to work on getting it?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Legacy

I have often seen signs that say (or heard people verbally say): “Leave a legacy.”

But here’s the thing…You ARE leaving a legacy whether you mean to be or not.
...at least that's what I think...

From Merriam-Webster:

1leg·a·cy
Pronunciation:
le-gə-\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural leg·a·cies
Etymology:
Middle English legacie office of a legate, bequest, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French, office of a legate, from Medieval Latin legatia, from Latin legatus
Date:
15th century
1 : a gift by will especially of money or other personal property :
bequest 2 : something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past

The term is used so often in referring to leaving something (object or philosophy) good to someone after you die. But I think you are establishing what your legacy will be over the course of your lifetime. It may be one your proud of, and it may be one you’ll regret.

Most people who know me think I am very out-going, but really I am very introverted, the type who likes to be a wallflower and just stand back and do a lot of observing. In my observing I have noticed particular families or groups of people that seem prone to things going wrong, drama, glitch after glitch in life, sickness, sadness, expecting the worst. Why is it that some people seem to have a long family history of “we will persevere”, while others follow the long-taught mantra, “life stinks”?

It has caused me to stop and think: What legacy am I leaving? 7 generations from now what will my descendants be like and what will be said that I passed down through those generations?

My Grandfather Clyde left a legacy of a strong work-ethic, unshakable faith, right priorities (God first, family next, everything else after that), using your talents, service to God and country. I will never forget those lessons he taught me and, because they have shaped who I am, they now live on in my children.

You ARE leaving a legacy…
What will it be?
You are creating that legacy at this very moment…

Is it a legacy of fear and doubt?
A legacy of poverty?
A legacy of depression?
A legacy of complacency?
A legacy of self-loathing?
Of settling for mediocrity?
Of negativity?
Of divisiveness?
Of drama?
Of blame?
Of victimization?

…OR…

Will you leave a legacy of positive thinking?
A legacy of taking action?
A legacy of knowing that God has created you for a specific purpose that only you can fulfill?
A legacy of gratitude?
A legacy of responsibility?
A legacy of self-worth, caring, concern?
A legacy of making a difference?
Of peace, pulling up your boot-straps, making the best of it?
Of inclusion?
Of continual improvement?
Of humor?
Of joy?
Of caring more than is practical?
Of brave, bold, courageous service for the Kingdom instead of playing it safe?

Will you teach your child that he’s not good enough and that dreams aren’t for people like him?

Or will you teach your child (and his children to come) that the dream in his heart was placed there by God and that NO dream is too big?
Will you teach him to honor God by achieving and living out that dream? Are YOU honoring God by achieving and living out the dreams that He has etched upon your heart?

Once the legacy is laid down, it will be woven into generation after generation. What will your legacy say about you 100 years from now?
If it isn’t what you want it to be, it isn’t too late to make the changes you need to make.

You are worthy of a legacy as big and as wonderful as God’s love is for you.

And your children deserve nothing less.

Question: You ARE leaving a legacy. What will it be? Will it honor God?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Tale of 2 Women

You might be familiar with a couple of hip biblical chicks, Mary and Martha. I probably would've been friends with them had I been alive then, though I would like to pause right here and now to thank God for having the good sense to know that the particular era of no hot shower, Ann Taylor Loft, or Kenra 25 (for keeping the angled bob perfectly angled) would not have been an ideal time for me! (I love how He so knows what He is doing!!!)

In case you are not familiar or have forgotten, allow me to refresh (I am paraphrasing here):
Luke 10: 38-42
There were these 2 sisters who lived in Bethany, named Mary and Martha. Jesus was passing through and Martha opened her home to Him and to the disciples. As any good hostess would do, she was prepping the meal, getting out the good dishes, probably stashing those stacks of mail she hadn’t gotten to under the kitchen island… Anyway, she’s in the kitchen scurrying around like a chicken with its head cut off. Meanwhile, Mary was off in the other room listening to Jesus talk. Martha was getting a little hot under the collar as she was going crazy & sis is just sittin’ around, so she tattled on Mary to Jesus, hoping He would lay down the (carpenter’s) hammer. Jesus, being so true-to-form, lovingly redirects her, and reminds her that actually she is the one who needs to re-think the plan here. "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

That one thing is, of course, Him.

Now I am sure we'd be friends, those girls and me...they were strong women who were ahead of their time, and I like that. You know chicks didn't get a lot of "air time" back then, so that's cool. But also, I see so much of myself, have so much in common with them. Mary with the whole “thinker” thing going on (I love nothing more than sitting around thinking…I just rarely make time to do it!), and Martha, always doing…I bet she never sat down either! Surely we would've hit it off while scrubbing dust out of the clothes with a big rock down at the stream. (Oh God, thank you, thank you that I was not alive then!)

I have to believe that both women were spiritually gifted. Among other gifts, Martha obviously had the Spiritual Gift of Hospitality. I’m sure she had a lovely and warm home and always made people feel welcome.

Mary sat at the feet of Jesus in total humility, drinking in His every word. Surely she had the Spiritual Gift of Knowledge.

Allow, if you will, one of my favorite thoughts:
You know how most it is often portrayed that people have an angel sitting on one shoulder and a devil on the other...they whisper words of encouragement/discouragement, good/evil, right/wrong, at the person continually?

Well, I don't have that. (You may have read in an earlier blog post where I said that I have always been a goody-two shoes...maybe I grew up with The Angel of Guilt on one shoulder and my entire extended family on the other...staying on track isn't hard when you keep thinking "would my grandma be proud of me at this moment?")

I was somehow blessed...or cursed, depending on how you look at it...with MARY on one shoulder and MARTHA on the other! They sit upon my shoulders and scream (not whisper) words of get-things-done/take-time, run-run-run/slow-down, do-more/do-less, say-no-to-one-more-thing/you-haven’t-done-enough.

This is a theme that runs continually through my life, but is glaringly evident at this time of year when there is so much to do and such and ambiance to create. Yet all I really want to do is curl up under a blanket on the couch, no lights on but those on the tree, soft carols playing, fire in the fireplace, smells of my Yankee Christmas Eve Candle filling the house, reading a the story of the birth of the baby Jesus in the Bible and pouring over every Christmas letter and picture.

Ahhhhhhhhh….doesn’t that sound wonderful…like heaven on earth?

But here's how the real story goes:
Last week I was (hmmmm...word choice...) a stressed-out basket case trying to get my house all decorated for Christmas before a meeting I was hosting. Along with finishing the decorating, there were some gifts to get ready for the meeting, food to make, and because I’d be busy with that all evening, phone calls and emails I needed to take care of beforehand. Then the doctor’s office called and they did need to see my son after all, ASAP. How was I possibly going to get all of this done?

The list was endless and time was running out!

“The Shoulder Girls” as I like to call them, were perched a-top my collar bones, arguing with each other worse than Paris and Nicole when they had their famous 2-year feud!

My modern-day visual interpretation of the Shoulder Girls:
Mary: I picture her as a simple, sporty-though-refined, straight-forward girl. She sits on my right shoulder. I imagine her with a simple, yet stylish black knee-length shirt dress, in a wrinkle-free fabric, and practical leopard-print flats. She has long black hair pulled back in a chic pony.

Martha: The much fussier of the 2…or as some might surmise, high-maintenance…sits on my left, zebra-print sweater dress from Ann Taylor Loft, long strand of pearls doubled around her neck, black tights, black boots. She feels fabulous in this outfit…I know because I wore this exact combo just this very day! In my mind she has a choppy light brown crop with very well done highlights.

They sit upon me most of the time and banter back and forth. When I finally decide to relax and take it slow, which is rare, Martha is ranting in my ear about all that I should and could be doing.

When I am working through that to-do list and multi-tasking like a maniacal Franklin-Covey devotee, then Mary is chastising me for not living in the moment and stopping to meditate, pray, read, and recharge.

I often feel like I can’t win as these girls present their cases to me and their on-going closing arguments!!!

I really want to be like Mary (laid back and in the moment), but I am wired so much more like Martha (giant type A), thus the constant fighting it out between the Shoulder Girls.

On this particular day of the meeting I mentioned, Mary won…it just all couldn’t get done! I had no choice but to shove the un-hung Christmas ornaments into the corner, light the un-decorated tree, and we all shared a good laugh about my imperfection. I had a great time that night, relishing in the people and the moment!

And I don't want it to be perfect and all Martha-y just so I can look good to other people.
...if you that’s what you think you are missing the point!
I want it to be perfect to show the people in my life that they are worth going the extra mile, that I love them enough to go out of my way, to go overboard.

But I am learning that Jesus just calls me to make time to be with those people, to laugh with them at my lack of perfection, and to tell them that I love them...and they will feel it and know. I don’t have to DO everything. I can actually sit down and listen to Jesus speak to me.

That’s all He wants me to do anyway! The jury is still out on whether or not I can actually pull it off, but I will give it my best shot going forward.

So I guess this Christmas, with all there is to do and give and host and bake and wrap and ...........
I challenge you and I challenge my own self to live out those Martha moments if we simply must, but to just hurry up and get them over with, get them out of the way. Only then can we be what He is really calling us to be, which is Mary, sitting with Him and the others that we love, 100% focused on the moment, listening.

For that choice "is better, and will not be taken away..." (Luke 10:38-42)

Question: Are you more like Mary or Martha? In what way? Do you need to make some changes?

Monday, December 1, 2008

To Be The Star That Shone Upon You

What would it have been like to have been there? To be part of the birth of Jesus..the magic...the miracle....

In my wondering of that very question, I wrote this a few years ago...
May the miracle of the birth of the Christ child dwell in your hearts this Christmas and throughout the New Year.


Oh, to be the star that shone upon you,
Or the straw beneath your skin,
The blanket wrapped around you,
Or the manger you were in;

The air that swirled around you
On that ancient, silent night,
To somehow, somewhere be there,
What must it have been like?

Was your every cry like music?
Was your breath like golden thread?
Your pillow like a throne
For Your Majesty’s sweet head?

Or did they even notice
In the silence of the night,
That all had changed forever
As heaven came to life?

Did they realize the magnitude
Of all that your life meant?
The birth, the death, the resurrection,
And finally the ascent;

That all of this was given
That sweet night in Bethlehem,
Because our God so loved the world
That we were given Him.

-A. McCool 11/04


Question: What would it have been like to have been there? Would you have liked to have been part of that night that changed the world forever? Why?

Enough

In my opinion everyone should have a personal mission statement.

You may think I’m crazy, but frankly, I don’t really care! (I quit worrying about whether or not people thought I was crazy long ago!).

I hesitate to print my mission statement here because I think it is highly unique and confidential and only for my immediate family to see at this point…they know all of the thinking behind it. My mission statement has to do with, among other things, my purpose on earth and my passion for quietly easing the pain of others through works and philanthropy.

See, the key word in that last sentence is quietly…I want to be anonymous…don’t want anyone to know…just between me and the “Big G”!

But I bring it up today for a reason.

At church we have just finished a series call “Shake the System”. (Soooo good!) The series has talked about (in real basic terms I recap here) the fact that as Christians it is sometimes easy to become overwhelmed with the enormity of the needs of this world, so we justify our lack of jumping in by thinking we can’t do enough to make a difference. But God calls us to do whatever we can, no matter how “small” and to keep at it, influencing others to join in our cause. Pretty soon that ripple effect takes over and we’re rockin’ the boat, people!

I have long been accused of being a “goody two-shoes”, but I sure do LOVE rockin’ the boat for the Kingdom of God! THAT’S where I like to rebel! (By the way, I quit worrying about being called a Goody two-shoes long ago, too! There are far worse things to be called!)

As I have prayed a favorite prayer of mine over the last several years, the Prayer of Jabez, God has answered it in so many ways that I never would’ve expected! (That God, He’s like that, ya know! ...always keepin’ ya on your toes!) My territory has been enlarged in countless ways. Ways that are subtle & ways that have practically knocked me on my rhinestone-encrusted pockets!

For awhile I thought I could only make the kind of difference that I want to make with the great big stuff. I would like to give huge amounts, enormous amounts, through philanthropic acts, but the resources just aren’t there yet… Almost a year ago my friends Donna and Lisa reminded me that just doing it, doing something is what is important…and their words have sent me on a journey that is unexplainable in human words.

I look for these “encounters” everywhere.

But it is those subtle ways that I mention that are the things that make me go hmmm…. (which reminds me of a great song from the 80’s, but I digress and possibly need Ritalin!). In those subtle opportunities are big chances for service & growth & witnessing & giving & helping all in the name of Jesus…but they are also big chances to miss it altogether! To not even see the need or to think it is too small to matter or to think, “that one is easy…someone else will get it”. Or as they talked about at church, to think “that one seems scary and I want to be safe not brave.”

This is heavily on my mind today because I drove through “moneyland usa” where I live around noon today to get my beloved Burger King Diet Coke (king-sized) for a whopping (Burger King pun intended!) $2.06.

Sidebar: You might be praying for me about this as I am in the “weaning” period right now….A.) What is Diet Coke? I mean, really. That thick brown bubbly liquid can not be good for me! And B.) I decided awhile back that I can be doing something MUCH better with that $761+ a year. That could buy a lot for someone in need and it has really been on my heart!

As I pulled in the shopping area, I saw a man. He was standing on the corner. Freezing. Sign in hand that read “Will work for food”.

You’ve seen the type yourself I’m sure, a million times on busy corners. I always give them some money.

I know all of the arguments…but I always think “what if”.

What if it really were Jesus standing there, hungry, freezing…would I drive on by?

Well, I’d bring Him home with me if it really were….

How would you know?

Thing is, you don’t know…He’s not gonna make it that obvious for you to figure out!
But I could hear my overly-protective-of-his-only-child father in my head, so bringing this particular gentleman home with me today without hubby here was maybe not the best option.

So what do I do? What do I do?

I pulled into the drive-thru and started talking to God. (Always a good option when you don’t know what to do, by the way!)

I said: God, I don’t know this guy’s story, but you do. I have no work that I can offer him, no job for which I can hire him, so I can’t really do anything lasting at this particular moment, but I can’t shake the feeling that I was supposed to see him and do something. I have $2.06…in quarters and pennies, no less…again, not that helpful…so God, not to be bossy here, but ya got about 3 minutes to put a clear thought in my head about what action I am supposed to take.

And he did.

Something simple, appropriate, and that because it was God-driven, felt absolutely right.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink... I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matt 25: 35, 40

I talked briefly to the man as I handed him the hot lunch that I bought for him with the debit card that, thank God (literally) I had on me. As I drove away tears were streaming down my face. I prayed for him and I said to God, “Did I do enough, was that enough?” The clear answer back was, “Yes. You did something. And for him, right now, right here, that was enough.”

I hope this December 1st that maybe if only for a split second, I was the face of Jesus for that man, the face of God incarnate who was born to deliver us all…maybe he now has hope, if only a tiny ray, and maybe that tiny ray is … enough.

Question: What will you do the next time you see “the man on the corner”? Will you ask God to help you know, undoubtedly, that is was enough?